Parents often worry about their child’s behavior—why they’ve become anxious, tearful, aggressive, or withdrawn. They turn to specialists, seek advice, read books, and try different methods. But it's important to start with a simple—yet not always easy—question: How do I feel right now?

Children "Read" Emotional Atmosphere

Children are extremely sensitive to their parents’ emotional state. Even infants who don’t yet understand language respond to changes in tone of voice, facial expressions, and breathing rhythm. The older a child gets, the better they can recognize unspoken emotions—even those parents try to hide.

If a parent is anxious, nervous, or emotionally down, the child often unconsciously absorbs that state. They may not be able to explain what’s going on, but their behavior changes: they may become irritable, fussy, have trouble sleeping, or lose their appetite. This is their way of saying, “I feel that something is wrong.”

Emotional Connection Is the Foundation of Security

To a child, their parents are the center of their world—their source of stability. Through the relationship with their parents, children form their understanding of the world: is it a safe place, can others be trusted, is it okay to relax?

When parents are emotionally tense or unavailable, the child loses that sense of stability. It becomes difficult for them to build internal security because their external foundation is shaky.

Hidden Anxiety vs. Honesty

Adults often try to "hide" their emotions in an attempt to protect their child. But emotions are not easily concealed—they're transmitted nonverbally. Instead of teaching the child healthy emotional expression, this creates an inner conflict: “I feel that mom is sad, but she says everything is fine. So, can I trust my own feelings?”

This leads to anxiety and confusion.

In contrast, an honest conversation—even a short one using simple words—like “I’m feeling a bit sad and tired right now, but it’s not because of you” helps the child understand emotions better and reduces their inner tension.

How Parents’ Emotional State Shapes a Child’s Mind

• Ongoing parental stress → raises the child’s cortisol (stress hormone) levels, which negatively affects nervous system development.
• Parental aggression or emotional coldness → teaches the child to suppress emotions or react aggressively in difficult situations.
• Calmness and emotional availability → help the child develop self-regulation, trust in the world, and confidence in themselves.

What Can Parents Do?

1. Take care of yourself. Emotional self-care is not selfish—it’s essential. You can’t give your child what you don’t have.
2. Let go of perfection. Children don’t need perfect parents. They need real, sincere, and attentive adults.
3. Learn to recognize your own emotions. This will help you better understand your child’s feelings.
4. Talk about your emotions. Keep it short and honest, using age-appropriate language.
5. Create a home environment where emotions aren’t taboo. A place where it’s okay to be sad, angry, joyful—and talk about it openly.

A parent’s emotional state is the soil in which a child’s psyche grows. Taking care of yourself, being mindful of your feelings, and being open to emotional dialogue with your child is the greatest gift you can give them.

Запитати в ChatGPT